7 proven exercises to unlock your core values
Find out what really matters for a more fulfilling life
What if, instead of being asked the vague question, “What are your values?”, you could uncover them through more practical and relatable methods?
Understanding the core qualities that define who you are and guide your choices is essential for living a fulfilling life. But let’s face it—answering generic questions to identify what truly matters to you can be daunting and uninspiring.
I’ve put together a comprehensive set of exercises—some lighthearted, others more introspective—that can help you uncover your values in a meaningful way. These are rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy/Training (ACT), a practice that helps people become more flexible in managing their inner experiences by staying true to what matters most—their values.
Why should you care?
Because having a clear sense of your values allows you to navigate life’s chaos and uncertainty with greater confidence. Values guide your toughest decisions. Living in alignment with your values means making choices that not only make you proud but also bring a deep sense of fulfilment, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Think of your values as the qualities you choose to reflect in your actions. For example, no matter how much self-doubt or fear I might feel, I hold onto courage. Acting courageously is one of the core values that guides my life. Another value I’ve identified through these exercises is playfulness—I believe in bringing a sense of play into my work, into how I cope with challenges, and into my connections with loved ones.
Most people don’t take the time to figure out what their values truly are. They get caught up in life’s difficulties and make decisions based on immediate feelings, impulses, or other people’s expectations. But without clearly defined values, you’re just drifting. This can lead to psychological inflexibility, where you react to life rather than living intentionally. When you’re clear about your values and commit to them, you make decisions based on what’s truly important.
So, how do you get clear on your core values and start living a life that truly reflects them?
As an ACT practitioner, I’ve spent years helping people improve psychological flexibility, a core concept in ACT. I’ve seen how powerful values exercises can be in identifying, clarifying, and living in alignment with values. The seven exercises I’m sharing here are drawn from ACT, inspired by other experts, adapted from previous approaches, or developed from my own experience. Let’s dive in.
Note: If you’re in a helping role—whether as a counsellor, teacher, coach, or if you lead group sessions like workshops or seminars—feel free to incorporate one or more of these exercises into your practice when relevant.
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