Coping like a pro: How mental health experts navigate stress

Tips from 9 practitioners

Have you ever wondered how mental health professionals manage their own emotions in stressful situations or keep their cool in the midst of chaos?

This question caught my attention after a reader brought it up.

Because, let’s be honest, even those who appear to have it all figured out can find themselves in an emotional storm, feeling frustrated with loved ones, or buried under work overwhelm.

Driven by curiosity, I reached out to nine fellow practitioners from various corners of the mental health world. These are experts I’ve connected with through various channels—some are fellow writers on Substack, a few are social media acquaintances, and others I’ve collaborated with in the past. They generously shared their go-to strategies for staying centred in turbulent times.

As we, mental health practitioners, annoyingly remind everyone all the time, there is no one-size-fits-all for the complexity of human emotions and personalities. But I believe that the insights from these professionals are pure gold. After all, they’ve helped countless people and undergone extensive training, and they must be armed with strategies that usually hit the mark, right?

So, if you’ve ever wondered how therapists stay sane in stressful situations, I’ve curated their responses for you (in no particular order). Perhaps you’ll uncover a gem or two to polish your own coping strategies.  

And spoiler alert: there is a visible central theme in these responses—an underlying theme—which I'll discuss by the end.

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1. “Slowing down” by Dr. Kimberly Mallett

Kimberly, a clinical psychologist based in US, offers psychotherapy for issues like anxiety, living with a chronic health issue, and depression. Her Substack newsletter, Mental Tune-Ups, is centred around tips and tools on personal strengths and resilience.

Kimberly believes in slowing things down in stressful situations by pausing, calming, and giving herself time to process information. She says, “Stress seems to make everything speed up—my heart, thoughts, pressure to respond. I find nothing helpful comes from being reactive, so I focus on what I need to do to be responsive instead.”

To slow down, Kimberly focuses on breathing slowly, exhaling completely, and relaxing her shoulders and muscles. "If I can calm my physiological response-slow my breath and heart rate-, it helps calm my brain and allows me to make better decisions and cope more effectively."

In addition to regulating her breath and physical tension, Kimberly emphasises the importance of perspective. She reminds herself that stressful situations are temporary and will eventually pass, which helps her maintain a sense of equilibrium.

2. “Breath work and connecting with nature” by Dr. Ozge Kantas-Yorulmazlar

Ozge is a social/personality psychologist, psychodramatist, mental health practitioner, and lecturer based in US.

Ozge uses a combination of meditation and breathwork to stay grounded, emphasising their profound impact on cognitive function, emotion regulation, and overall health. “I can adjust the pace based on my desired emotional state—deep breaths for relaxation and faster breaths for energy. Voila! It is an intentional intervention. Regaining autonomy starts with conscious breath control in any instance by your very own nature.”

In addition to breathwork, Ozge finds solace in connecting with nature as a means of calming her mind and redirecting focus from stressors. This practice not only refreshes her perspective but also equips her with renewed resources to tackle challenges in the future. As she puts it, “We typically don't need one more coffee, but maybe we should touch the grass, watch the sky, observe the chest or your belly, follow how a breeze moves a leaf, or even your hair.”

3. “Calm reset” by Kate Harvey

Kate, a psychotherapist based in the UK, writes a weekly Substack newsletter, Letters From Therapy, focused on flourishing in life. 

Kate’s favourite strategy is called the calm reset. She explains that this technique helps her regulate herself and manage anxiety. It involves a breathing exercise where you inhale for a count of four and then exhale for a count of six, repeated three times.

The idea behind this technique is that long, slow exhales activate the parasympathetic response, calming the muscles in your body and switching you out of fight-or-flight mode. Kate says, “You don’t need to count, but the counting is to ensure that the our breath is longer while you practice; this is what matters here. You can also breathe more into your belly rather than just your chest.”

Kate thinks this is an excellent tool to use anytime, especially in stressful situations.

4. “Noticing bodily sensations” by Dr. Vicki Connop

Vicki, based in New Zealand, is a clinical psychologist and runs a Substack newsletter called The Therapy Room. In this newsletter, she shares her experience on trauma, healing, and the mind-body connection.

In navigating stressful situations, Vicki emphasises the importance of tuning into bodily sensations as a way to ground herself. “I breathe with it, maybe place a hand on it, and allow it. Then I find the sensation of my back body and anchor into that.” This approach creates a sense of spaciousness within herself and supports the regulation of her nervous system during challenging moments.

Drawing an analogy to physical training, Vicki recommends starting with smaller, less intense emotions when practicing this technique. "You don't go to the gym and train first with the heaviest weights,” she says. “You build up your tolerance and capacity gradually.”

5. “Visionary parking” by Dr. Lalitaa Suglani

Lalitaa, a counselling psychologist and executive coach based in the UK, helps high achievers manage stress and build confidence. Her book, High Functioning Anxiety, guides readers through boundary setting and managing perfectionism, stress, and overthinking.

Lalitaa’s go-to strategy for regulating her emotions in stressful situations involves acknowledging the distressing emotion, sitting with it, and creating a bit of distance from it. She explains, “One effective method for this is taking a walk or stepping outside to get fresh air. This change of environment helps me observe the emotion from a slight distance, reducing its intensity and allowing for better processing.”

To create that space between herself and the emotion, Lalitaa also practices what she calls “visionary parking.” This involves mentally setting aside the emotion, acknowledging its presence, and promising to revisit it when she’s calmer. She notes, “This allows me to proceed with immediate tasks without being completely derailed, while also ensuring that I address the emotion fully later on.”

6. “Big picture and breath work” by Dr. Amber Groomes

Amber, a clinical psychologist based in US, specialises in anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, and maternal mental health. Her newsletter, Dr. Amber Writes, explores themes from her therapeutic work with clients.

Amber’s approach to managing stress centres around embracing a powerful mantra: "No matter what happens, I'll be okay." This mindset helps her maintain perspective, even in the midst of crises. “It also grounds me so that I can then notice if I’m catastrophizing or engaging in some other distorted thinking,” Amber says.

In addition to her big-picture perspective, Amber relies on practical techniques like deep breathing to regulate her emotions during stressful moments: inhaling into her belly and exhaling slowly. “If the emotion is more like sadness and I need to shake things up so I can get moving, I use music.”

She recommends practicing these strategies regularly rather than waiting for an intense situation to arise. “I always tell clients that we wouldn’t wait until the big game to use a new sports skill,” Amber says, “You would practice throughout the week in preparation. The same goes for our coping skills.”

7. “Breathe and notice” by Dr. Emma Svanberg

Emma, a clinical psychologist based in the UK, specialises in the prenatal period. Her Substack newsletter, Un-Normal, explores such topics as neurodiversity, race, gender roles, and mental health.

In managing stress, Emma's go-to strategy begins with a deep, intentional breath—inhaling through her nose to fill her belly and audibly sighing out through her mouth. “If that doesn’t settle my fizz, I do it again, making sure I’m dropping my shoulders. I might also give my hands and arms a shake if I know I’m up on adrenaline that I don’t want.”

As Emma works mostly with parents, she encourages doing this exercise with their children present and explaining what they are doing to model grounding in stressful moments.

Critical to Emma's approach is the ability to recognise early signs of becoming stressed. She emphasises the importance of body awareness, urging us to regularly check in with ourselves regularly to identify these signs. “I think this is something we often miss in these conversations. What does stress actually feel like in your body? What are your early signs of stress? Usually, we know we’re stressed because we’ve got into a highly stressed fight, flight, freeze, flop state and by that time we need more to bring ourselves back to a more grounded place.”

8. “Bringing up the house lights” by Dr. Ellen Hendriksen

Ellen is a clinical psychologist based in US, known for her insights into social anxiety and perfectionism. She explores these themes in her Substack newsletter, How to Be Good to Yourself, and is the author of How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. 

To stay grounded in stressful situations, Ellen employs a unique mindfulness technique, called “bringing up the house lights,” a concept developed by psychologist Russ Harris. When she finds herself perseverating or otherwise fretting, she tries to expand her awareness and attention. She explains, “Rather than pointing my attention spotlight at one small worry, I bring up the house lights and notice that there are other things all around me, both seen and unseen, positive and negative, internal and external: a dog in the dog bed next to my desk, tea in a mug, thoughts about dinner, my feet in my shoes, papers in need of filing.”

This approach to mindfulness doesn’t just center on a single focal point like breathing; it expands to include a broader range of stimuli. This not only provides perspective but also contextualises her concerns, reminding her that the moment contains more than her immediate worries.

9. “Heightened awareness” by Jasmin Khan

Jasmin Khan is a psychotherapist based in the UK. She specialises in ADHD, autism, identity, and grief.

Jasmin says emotional regulation isn’t something that comes natural to her because she is neurodivergent. That’s why she consciously practises it in times where she’s not particularly triggered.

Her approach involves heightened awareness of her surroundings and physical sensations, complemented by mindfulness meditation techniques. A favourite is psychologist Tara Brach’s RAIN method, which guides her through recognising, allowing, and investigating emotions, and identifying underlying needs. “It creates space and compassion around emotions,” Jamin says. “Regular practice helps establish neural pathways, enhancing my ability to regulate during overwhelming moments.”

This method also deepens her understanding of emotional regulation’s neurological and physiological aspects, particularly how her neurophysiology may differ. Jasmin is mindful of processing delays and considers factors like sensory overload or dopamine levels as potential root triggers.

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The common thread

Before reaching out to these lovely experts, I didn’t hold any assumptions or expectations. I was simply curious about their approaches to managing challenging emotions. Yet, what I’ve discovered, as you likely have too, is a common thread running through their diverse methods. Whether it's through mindful breathing, stepping back to reflect, connecting with nature, or simply acknowledging and processing emotions, each strategy revolves around the art of slowing down, taking a step back, and creating space.

What's truly fascinating is that while the essence remains similar, everyone brings their unique touch. This diversity empowers us to explore and experiment, infusing our own creativity into the mix. We don’t have to adhere strictly to any one method—after all, even these experts rely on what resonates personally.

So, the next time a distressing emotion knocks, remember: there’s power in the pause, wisdom in the breath, and solace in the stillness. And remember too, there's no single path to navigate these waters. You have the freedom to forge your own way, discovering what helps you along the journey.

What do you think about these strategies? Which one(s) resonated with you? Feel free to leave a comment.

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See you in the next post!