The Opposite of Worry

And how to live with life's uncertainty

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the opposite worry. Is it comfort? Relaxation? Happiness?

It’s probably not a groundbreaking insight, but after some reflection, I’ve come to realise that the opposite of worry isn't necessarily about satisfaction or relief, but having a present awareness with a light touch on both the past and the future.

Let me explain.

We’re undeniably strange creatures. We worry over massive issues—wars, disasters, illnesses—but also obsess over the tiniest details: Will my guests like the playlist? Will anyone at work notice the missing button on my coat? It’s as if our minds have an unlimited capacity for concern, no matter the scale.

Worry is the process of anticipating future events or situations that we fear might turn out negatively. When it’s intense, it's often accompanied by a stream of 'what if' thoughts: What if I fail the test? What if people don’t like my dress? What if I forget to take the bin out?

So, worry is a future-oriented form of anxiety, where the focus is typically on events that might not even happen. It’s like a soft hum in the background of our lives—occasionally rising into an overwhelming noise or fading into a whisper.

Ironically, most of what we worry about never happens. Mark Twain captured this perfectly: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” Research supports this. In one study, participants prone to excessive worrying recorded their fears over ten days. A month later, researchers found that 91.4% of their worries had not materialised. For many, none of their worries came true. Even when the worry did come true, 30% of the worries were better than expected.