This resonates so much with me and it's something I've been wrestling with for a while, in terms of trying not to feel 'too vulnerable' as I've equated that feeling with weakness and anxiety. I read recently that we have to experience co-regulation when we're born as a way of learning to self regulate as we grow up, yet we revere independence so much. A really thoughtful and thought provoking piece, thank you 😊 🙏
Thank you! It’s always encouraging to hear that my post resonates with readers. I’m glad you brought up co-regulation—I agree it’s an important topic we should talk about more. I’m actually planning to write a piece on it soon.
Another well written piece that resonates with me deeply. I am learning how to acknowledge my needs and communicate them. Growing up, I would bury my needs deep down just to earn the acceptance and approval of everyone in my life. It took me a long time to realize that the freedom I was seeking was not just a freedom of expressing my opinions but also my needs.
Thank you, Vishnu! Yes, many of us are conditioned to suppress or avoid our needs, which only creates tension over time. I’m so glad to hear you’re starting to acknowledge them more.
Thank you for this. I struggle with the unhelpful type of reassurance-seeking, but I am glad to be reassured (haha) that the concept itself is not inherently unhealthy. Hope you have a great day!
As someone who once felt ashamed of expressing her needs, this deeply resonates with me. The guilt, the fear of rejection, and the belief that vulnerability is a weakness, it’s a heavy burden to carry.
But as you said it’s human to crave appreciation and reassurance in relationships. While self-sufficiency is important, so is the courage to acknowledge and express our needs with honesty.
This resonates so much with me and it's something I've been wrestling with for a while, in terms of trying not to feel 'too vulnerable' as I've equated that feeling with weakness and anxiety. I read recently that we have to experience co-regulation when we're born as a way of learning to self regulate as we grow up, yet we revere independence so much. A really thoughtful and thought provoking piece, thank you 😊 🙏
Thank you! It’s always encouraging to hear that my post resonates with readers. I’m glad you brought up co-regulation—I agree it’s an important topic we should talk about more. I’m actually planning to write a piece on it soon.
Another well written piece that resonates with me deeply. I am learning how to acknowledge my needs and communicate them. Growing up, I would bury my needs deep down just to earn the acceptance and approval of everyone in my life. It took me a long time to realize that the freedom I was seeking was not just a freedom of expressing my opinions but also my needs.
Thank you, Vishnu! Yes, many of us are conditioned to suppress or avoid our needs, which only creates tension over time. I’m so glad to hear you’re starting to acknowledge them more.
Look at our primate cousins - they are constantly giving each other reassuring touches.
Thank you for this. I struggle with the unhelpful type of reassurance-seeking, but I am glad to be reassured (haha) that the concept itself is not inherently unhealthy. Hope you have a great day!
Glad I’ve given some reassurance :)
Yes! Yes! Yes!!!
Thank you for relaying this message! Very much needed!
Selda, thank you for this!
As someone who once felt ashamed of expressing her needs, this deeply resonates with me. The guilt, the fear of rejection, and the belief that vulnerability is a weakness, it’s a heavy burden to carry.
But as you said it’s human to crave appreciation and reassurance in relationships. While self-sufficiency is important, so is the courage to acknowledge and express our needs with honesty.